My New Life Abroad: Moving to the Other Side of the World
So, what makes someone move to a country and continent they have never been to? Fear. I had begun to worry that if I stayed much longer in San Francisco, I would forget why I loved living there. I had grown weary of city life and dreamed of warmer weather. I was nearing my 40th birthday and after 10 years of living in the Bay Area, I knew I needed to leave for adventure. It was time to trade the life I built year by year for a new home and one where I would see things which I would never have the opportunity to otherwise.
Relocating to Singapore and precisely 8,434 miles away from my normal, predictable and mainly happy life was what I needed at the time. It’s a risk which when learned of, perfect strangers would comment that they wished they could do the same with a wistful look. When friends and family learned where I was moving, shock registered on their face. They worried for me and knew nothing of Singapore and knew I didn’t either, but I was beginning to feel as though the world I lived in didn’t inspire like it used to and moving abroad just seemed right. I also wanted to prove to myself and everyone else I could do it.
That being said, I didn’t move alone. I moved with my partner which meant I knew at least one person in Asia. It was a scary and humbling experience but electrifying. For the honeymoon period of the move which most say lasts about 6 months, it was impossible to feel boredom. There is just too much to see and do and eat. During this period, I ate everything and was travel-obsessed and visited Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia twice, Vietnam, and Cambodia. I was overwhelmed by different cultures and I couldn’t get enough. I learned how to say thank you and cheers for each new language of the country visited, tried street food, disastrously drank water from the tap in Vietnam, saw exotic wonders I never imagined I’d see, had my photo taken with strangers because of my dark-blonde hair and found the world to be so completely welcoming I often couldn’t keep a smile from my travel-worn face. It was everything I dreamed of and more.
About 3 months into my arrival to Singapore, I began work. Getting a job in Singapore as a foreigner is not easy unless you transfer with your company, but I was lucky as I was offered a role with a company I had worked for in San Francisco. It was perfect but it also became monotonous after the honeymoon period ended. Work is still work after all. The realities of normal life may have brought frustrations, but my silver-living was I negotiated more vacation time which enabled more travel than I would have otherwise. My first year abroad, I spent more time researching travel deals, locations and consulting Google Maps than anyone ever in the history of travel, or at least it felt that way. Despite work, I still managed to travel to the Philippines and Taiwan but only home once after only a couple of months of moving to Singapore.
It’s now been over a year and the opportunity to see my loved ones again seems unlikely now unless by video call. The hardest thing about living abroad has been the physical and emotional distance between friends and family and one I struggle with but try to circumvent with making an effort to stay in contact and to be available when people call/message. Technology luckily makes it easier than ever to keep in contact with people, but it is not equal to a hug from a loved one although seeing their faces for a time helps.
As challenging as the distance can be, I found my adopted home to be welcoming and very livable. All the signage is in English and there were only a few language hurdles to overcome. I found culturally there are some unexpected differences, but when moving to another country, it’s best to take full responsibility to understand them since as a guest, we’re all tasked to follow them. We are in their home after all.
With regards to my work environment, I did find myself lucky and in an office with only Singaporeans surrounding me which I found later from other expats, is not the norm. I had the absolute best guides and wonderful people in my office who I grew to care about and in turn, they did their best to show me who they are. My favorite was and is my office counterpart and consummate guide to all things Singaporean, Alvin. He relished in showing me his favorite food and would take me to only the best stalls, but he also gave me a glimpse into the kindness of the Singaporean people and also the pride they have in their country. We still had a good deal of laughable miscommunications (the chocolate rice/sprinkle debacle being my favorite) but our genuine wanting to learn more about each other and camaraderie made it some of the most fun I’ve had since moving to Singapore. I will forever be grateful to the people here who have opened up their minds and hearts to this direct and opinionated American.
Sarah Turnbull wrote in her novel Almost French about her experiences moving to Paris, “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.” Her words capture what it is to live in an adopted country beautifully because once having lived abroad for any extended period, you are forever changed and neither you nor your home will be the same. Bitter-sweet describes my life in Singapore, but the sweet far offsets the bitter. It is only in the early mornings or when I think of my loved ones back home fleetingly, that a pining for home tightens in my chest and I wish myself back to them.
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Melissa Fitzgerald is an American expat who has worked in the travel industry for the past ten years and is also a writer and used her time in lock-down to write her first novel. Fitzgerald is a Contributing Writer for Honeycombers.com.